Lots of negative juju on the blog lately but the sun is shining and I'm starting to get my luster back. I am not an astrologist or a practicer of anything religious to do with astrology, I love Jesus and His dad and all that goes with them but when I was in Hawaii a few, crap I keep forgetting how old I really am, more than a few years ago I met a lot of very spiritual people. Many of these people weren't believers in organized religion, some had grown up in church buildings and others claimed Mother Earth as their All-Mighty. I don't get the planets in the houses and how they spin around each other this way and that to make us happy or sad or prosperous or poor and all of that interconnectedness but I am going to tell you my horoscope app on my phone has been right on, in a strange way.
After my "Are the gray clouds the silver lining" post this is what the universe had to tell me via my 3G connection: self-loathing and negativity are not becoming, your power Virgo is bringing joy into a room, overcome this gray foggy funk of yours in the coming days, and start by smiling.
After my "Shadows are a Beep" post, my 3G spiritual memo was: You may be in an argument with someone very close to you in your life. The argument is about something of great importance to you but in this case it may be best to leave this alone as it is not likely that good will come from pushing this at this point.
These are just two examples that y'all will recognize. The majority of the others are just as right on as those two. So now I am intrigued by this app that was downloaded to serve as simple entertainment, who writes these things and how the hell do they know my life so well? And then I think, there are millions of Virgos in the world, I wonder how their lives are related to the posts, am I really not alone as I try to muddle through the mess?
Now somedays, no matter how hard I try I can't relate my life to these astro messages, but still I'm left to wonder about the others that are so accurate...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Shadows are a Beep!
The season of Lent is upon us. My devoutly Catholic mother let her fears get the best of her on Wednesday as she guiltlessly tried to shamelessly suggest that I go to the Catholic church on Ash Wednesday instead of my church where "surely a church like that won't put ashes on your forehead and what's the meaning of this day if you don't receive ashes." In true Catholic matriarch fashion, when I told her that I did get ashes she sighed and shreaked, "YOU DID! and on the exhale - "thank you Father," followed by, "Well y'all are starting to figure it out." Just a glimpse of what I deal with on a daily basis in the land of crazy, Southern, Catholic, single mother, only childedness! If you have any suggestions on how to deal with women like this in a respectful manner slip a note in the box!
When she asked what I was giving up for a Lent, a question that with women like this you really can't get around because if you tell them it's none of their business they passively agressively pretend like they don't care and really didn't want to know they were just asking because they wanted to be supportive to make you feel guilty instead of making them feel disrespectful OR they throw the "I am your mother and you should be able to tell me" card (when she pulls that I typically make something up like I'm checking myself into rehab for an addiction to herbal vitamins or that I'm going to stop practicing making babies every night with random guys I meet at the bar - normally that at least gets her distracted enough to change the subject easily or end the conversation altogether).
I tell her because for the most (or the better part of the most) part I don't lie to her anymore, white lies here and there to avoid the comments and criticisms and scathing questions and accusations when I really just can't take it but I truthfully don't have much of anything to hide, believe it or not momma, I am a truly decent human being even though I go to church in a bar! It wouldn't matter if I was a nun in a habit she would still be over-righteously opinionated over anything and everything I said or did. Does it still hurt my feelings and drive me crazy, yes, but I have come to learn that she's not going to change and that the best thing I can do is to keep living my life and build myself up so that her words can't make me crumble... and I keep my distance, some days 11 hours isn't far enough. On Tuesday night she told me that she realized that I had already been raised and that I didn't need to be judged for my decisions anymore and on Wednesday she was telling me that she raised me better than to stray from the religious beliefs that were the only truth and that one day I would come back to the church, do you see who the conductor on this crazy train is! Hence the title of the blog, "Muddling in the Miss" it really should be "Muddling through the mess"!
At Ash Wednesday service where I did receive ashes, my pastor spoke about how We can change circumstances, but only God can change our hearts. This resonated in my life so clearly. I can change states and I can change from everything familiar to nothing familiar and I can change schools and make new friends and drive a different (note: not new, I love you Pearl but not nearly as much as I'm going to love my first brand new car!) car and get a new job but changing all of this doesn't change my momma and doesn't change my relationship with her and doesn't take away the hurt and doesn't make the love fade. Shadows are a bitch! So during this season I'm praying for a change of heart, one that is strong and confident, pure and positive, joyful and determined, and respectful yet resolute.
When she asked what I was giving up for a Lent, a question that with women like this you really can't get around because if you tell them it's none of their business they passively agressively pretend like they don't care and really didn't want to know they were just asking because they wanted to be supportive to make you feel guilty instead of making them feel disrespectful OR they throw the "I am your mother and you should be able to tell me" card (when she pulls that I typically make something up like I'm checking myself into rehab for an addiction to herbal vitamins or that I'm going to stop practicing making babies every night with random guys I meet at the bar - normally that at least gets her distracted enough to change the subject easily or end the conversation altogether).
I tell her because for the most (or the better part of the most) part I don't lie to her anymore, white lies here and there to avoid the comments and criticisms and scathing questions and accusations when I really just can't take it but I truthfully don't have much of anything to hide, believe it or not momma, I am a truly decent human being even though I go to church in a bar! It wouldn't matter if I was a nun in a habit she would still be over-righteously opinionated over anything and everything I said or did. Does it still hurt my feelings and drive me crazy, yes, but I have come to learn that she's not going to change and that the best thing I can do is to keep living my life and build myself up so that her words can't make me crumble... and I keep my distance, some days 11 hours isn't far enough. On Tuesday night she told me that she realized that I had already been raised and that I didn't need to be judged for my decisions anymore and on Wednesday she was telling me that she raised me better than to stray from the religious beliefs that were the only truth and that one day I would come back to the church, do you see who the conductor on this crazy train is! Hence the title of the blog, "Muddling in the Miss" it really should be "Muddling through the mess"!
At Ash Wednesday service where I did receive ashes, my pastor spoke about how We can change circumstances, but only God can change our hearts. This resonated in my life so clearly. I can change states and I can change from everything familiar to nothing familiar and I can change schools and make new friends and drive a different (note: not new, I love you Pearl but not nearly as much as I'm going to love my first brand new car!) car and get a new job but changing all of this doesn't change my momma and doesn't change my relationship with her and doesn't take away the hurt and doesn't make the love fade. Shadows are a bitch! So during this season I'm praying for a change of heart, one that is strong and confident, pure and positive, joyful and determined, and respectful yet resolute.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Are the gray clouds the silver lining?
First of all, Mom J, so proud of you for figuring out how to become a follower... of me of course!
Second of all I'm going to try to be funny and light hearted in this but it's probably not going to work, I think I have seasonal depression tendencies/in my life game of over-under I am definitely under this week. After last semester I did the life audit: What are you doing and why are you doing it and will all of it really matter in the end? I had to do this. I was having no less than 14 hour days, waking up at 4:45 in the morning (yes friends from home, you are reading this correctly that is AM) to work out because I am softer around the more edges that I have now thanks to life a few days a week and getting out of class/meetings no earlier than 9:30 three nights a week = Hot Mess!
I just looked at the title of this again after three hours, how horrible and that first paragraph too. And then I just looked down at my toes and the pants on fire red color that's on them and thought about the dousing my pants got when I went to get this pedicure. I'll tell you that story instead of droning on about how I'm in a funk - the gist of that is I'm really busy but I'm busy because I don't have much to come home too. Let's face it I'm ready for him to kiss me in the tree and to make some babies for the carriage but I don't have that yet so I guess I'm trying to stay busy until I do (that's all I can come up with for today).
Ok so last semester was hellatious! I am living on my own for the first time! Love it more than a roommate but wouldn't mind a mister to take up some space and scare the monsters out of my closets for me at night. Living on my own meant no more shopping, pedicures, sursies for me or for others hardly even Christmas - sorry I still love y'all. I did really well considering my pre-Mississippi habits. I spent a total of $300.00 on clothes for seven months. $250.00 of that was at one time BUT I got a pair of pumps and five dresses, not bad if I do say so myself!
Let's get down to it - no pedicures. I see a concerning trend in my life and the realization came from this pedicure situation: the older I am getting the less money I am making, isn't it supposed to be the more education you have the more money you make, I'm still waiting to see the payoff from my two degree investments, ask me again after June how I feel about it when I hopefully have a legit job! I used to get pedicures no less than once a month with a color change and a mini pedi every other week, this could be considered high maintenance but let's be serious when you can afford the small luxuries in life don't deny yourself!
I had one pedicure in the year 2009. I decided to reward myself for my 4.0 and making it out alive after fall semester with a pedicure (ahem, student loan money came in in January, I'm really bad at lying, that had something to do with it too). So I leave work early one afternoon instead of staying late, change into a cozy polo and my fat jeans so that I can truly relax while enjoying this long lost luxury. Go to the pedicure place, along with every other ethnic person within 100 miles of Lafayette County. As I'm walking up, I see that there are alot of people in the store, no big deal I don't buy trashy magazines but I love to read them and typically indulge in them while getting my nails and hair done, I can ignore the crowd while I fill my head with meaningless gossip and glitz and glam. I walk in, make a bee-line for the magazine table, NO TRASHY MAGS! Are you freaking kidding me I read these while I'm being beautified so for a fleeting moment I can think, "Well I kind of look like her!" and mean it! This should have been tip off number one, when I went to the car to get my school book - wahmp wahmp - I should have just kept on going but in my frenzy to fulfill my foot fetishes my impatience got the best of me and I went back in.
Color in hand I sit down, book open in my lap, feet in bubble bath, I start to drift off to my happy place. Life is good today until the Vietnamese man starts speaking coherent English. The most ethnic place in town and I get the English speaker! Seriously! I love my pedicure lady at home, she takes care of my feet and my food, she does the morning shift at the grocery store right next door so when I am in a hurry she opens up a register for me and on my way out she says, "I see you at two for your toes!" While in her chair, she would tell me she liked my toe color and that the boys would too - maybe that's what's missing in the Miss????, and how nice my feet were, not like some of her other clients that made her hands hurt from scrubbing - I mean I'll take a beauty complement even if it is about my uncalloused feet any day. I LOVED her, she let me read my trashy mags, probably because I didn't understand Vietnamese and she didn't understand much English beyond the niceties of pedicures and the Piggly Wiggly but we had a fabulous relationship.
This guy reminded me of the dental hygenist that tries to carry on a conversation with you while cleaning your teeth, as I'm reading he's asking me about what I'm reading. I think he wanted to show off his English skills because he kept going. I wanted to teach him some social skills and how to pick up on conversation cues... I gave as many one worded, closed ended responses as I could without blatantly telling him to shut it. At one point, I even closed my eyes and pretended to fade off, he didn't take the hint, he made me change feet when I knew that he should scrub before it went back into the water! So as I let him regale me with his English skills, because being talked at isn't bad enough, the owner comes and sits next to me with a computer. He can't speak English but with what little words he does know asks me to proofread his flier for the Vietnamese New Year celebration they're putting together in Jackson, really? Happy f-ing New Year to me, I may as well have stayed at work, translating that bulletin was about as difficult as teaching a kid to read without books (you can do it, but damn it's a pain)! I really think I should've gotten a free pedicure for the services I PROVIDED!
Here's to you, 4.0, you still won't let it go but it's not over yet I will come out on top with the best celebration pedicure a girl can get!
Second of all I'm going to try to be funny and light hearted in this but it's probably not going to work, I think I have seasonal depression tendencies/in my life game of over-under I am definitely under this week. After last semester I did the life audit: What are you doing and why are you doing it and will all of it really matter in the end? I had to do this. I was having no less than 14 hour days, waking up at 4:45 in the morning (yes friends from home, you are reading this correctly that is AM) to work out because I am softer around the more edges that I have now thanks to life a few days a week and getting out of class/meetings no earlier than 9:30 three nights a week = Hot Mess!
I just looked at the title of this again after three hours, how horrible and that first paragraph too. And then I just looked down at my toes and the pants on fire red color that's on them and thought about the dousing my pants got when I went to get this pedicure. I'll tell you that story instead of droning on about how I'm in a funk - the gist of that is I'm really busy but I'm busy because I don't have much to come home too. Let's face it I'm ready for him to kiss me in the tree and to make some babies for the carriage but I don't have that yet so I guess I'm trying to stay busy until I do (that's all I can come up with for today).
Ok so last semester was hellatious! I am living on my own for the first time! Love it more than a roommate but wouldn't mind a mister to take up some space and scare the monsters out of my closets for me at night. Living on my own meant no more shopping, pedicures, sursies for me or for others hardly even Christmas - sorry I still love y'all. I did really well considering my pre-Mississippi habits. I spent a total of $300.00 on clothes for seven months. $250.00 of that was at one time BUT I got a pair of pumps and five dresses, not bad if I do say so myself!
Let's get down to it - no pedicures. I see a concerning trend in my life and the realization came from this pedicure situation: the older I am getting the less money I am making, isn't it supposed to be the more education you have the more money you make, I'm still waiting to see the payoff from my two degree investments, ask me again after June how I feel about it when I hopefully have a legit job! I used to get pedicures no less than once a month with a color change and a mini pedi every other week, this could be considered high maintenance but let's be serious when you can afford the small luxuries in life don't deny yourself!
I had one pedicure in the year 2009. I decided to reward myself for my 4.0 and making it out alive after fall semester with a pedicure (ahem, student loan money came in in January, I'm really bad at lying, that had something to do with it too). So I leave work early one afternoon instead of staying late, change into a cozy polo and my fat jeans so that I can truly relax while enjoying this long lost luxury. Go to the pedicure place, along with every other ethnic person within 100 miles of Lafayette County. As I'm walking up, I see that there are alot of people in the store, no big deal I don't buy trashy magazines but I love to read them and typically indulge in them while getting my nails and hair done, I can ignore the crowd while I fill my head with meaningless gossip and glitz and glam. I walk in, make a bee-line for the magazine table, NO TRASHY MAGS! Are you freaking kidding me I read these while I'm being beautified so for a fleeting moment I can think, "Well I kind of look like her!" and mean it! This should have been tip off number one, when I went to the car to get my school book - wahmp wahmp - I should have just kept on going but in my frenzy to fulfill my foot fetishes my impatience got the best of me and I went back in.
Color in hand I sit down, book open in my lap, feet in bubble bath, I start to drift off to my happy place. Life is good today until the Vietnamese man starts speaking coherent English. The most ethnic place in town and I get the English speaker! Seriously! I love my pedicure lady at home, she takes care of my feet and my food, she does the morning shift at the grocery store right next door so when I am in a hurry she opens up a register for me and on my way out she says, "I see you at two for your toes!" While in her chair, she would tell me she liked my toe color and that the boys would too - maybe that's what's missing in the Miss????, and how nice my feet were, not like some of her other clients that made her hands hurt from scrubbing - I mean I'll take a beauty complement even if it is about my uncalloused feet any day. I LOVED her, she let me read my trashy mags, probably because I didn't understand Vietnamese and she didn't understand much English beyond the niceties of pedicures and the Piggly Wiggly but we had a fabulous relationship.
This guy reminded me of the dental hygenist that tries to carry on a conversation with you while cleaning your teeth, as I'm reading he's asking me about what I'm reading. I think he wanted to show off his English skills because he kept going. I wanted to teach him some social skills and how to pick up on conversation cues... I gave as many one worded, closed ended responses as I could without blatantly telling him to shut it. At one point, I even closed my eyes and pretended to fade off, he didn't take the hint, he made me change feet when I knew that he should scrub before it went back into the water! So as I let him regale me with his English skills, because being talked at isn't bad enough, the owner comes and sits next to me with a computer. He can't speak English but with what little words he does know asks me to proofread his flier for the Vietnamese New Year celebration they're putting together in Jackson, really? Happy f-ing New Year to me, I may as well have stayed at work, translating that bulletin was about as difficult as teaching a kid to read without books (you can do it, but damn it's a pain)! I really think I should've gotten a free pedicure for the services I PROVIDED!
Here's to you, 4.0, you still won't let it go but it's not over yet I will come out on top with the best celebration pedicure a girl can get!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Over Under
My life is just that, a game of over under. Some days I'm on top of it and others I'm buried beneath it, I'm starting to get whiplash I think. But I've learned and am slowly coming to accept that it really isn't a destination. There's no way to get everything in order and keep it that way, the balance is in finding order in the constant conundrum of life.
My house is not going to be spotless even if I do my dishes everyday and hang my towels up - I am never going to be good at unpacking after a trip, I'm not going to have more than enough money at this point in my life even if I do save a little from every paycheck - I make 900.00 a month and the rest is borrowed, I'm still going to be lonely at times even though I've surrounded myself with genuine people... and the list goes on. I moved eleven hours away from home, from a blessed world full of people and life because I sought a quiet life and space to grow on my own but my heart sometimes aches for that life and those people and yet I know that it won't be my home again for a while, if ever - and now I'm thinking it's time for a city.
My horoscope yesterday was:
A small feat you accomplish today could evolve into a much bigger achievement down the road. You may have felt recently that you can't tackle the big stuff because the little stuff keeps getting in the way, but actually you are covering a lot of ground just doing what you're doing now. You sometimes tend to feel as though you have to make big, sweeping changes in order to show progress. But progress is any forward movement. If you stop focusing on how many inches forward you moved, you will soon look back and realize just how far you've come. (Thank you new droid phone app!)
So now as I look back on my year in Mississippi and on my other courageous jumps in life, I'm left to wonder, I've come this far but where am I going?
The funny part is that I wish I could have been happy at home, in Charleston teaching first grade for the rest of my life, married with babies next door to the friends that I grew up with. My whole life I've wanted nothing more than to be simple and stick with the norms and despite that I've never been able to. So for all of you at home, I know it sounds crazy, but it's not in my hands or I'd be there with you now but know that wherever I am I love you and miss you!
My house is not going to be spotless even if I do my dishes everyday and hang my towels up - I am never going to be good at unpacking after a trip, I'm not going to have more than enough money at this point in my life even if I do save a little from every paycheck - I make 900.00 a month and the rest is borrowed, I'm still going to be lonely at times even though I've surrounded myself with genuine people... and the list goes on. I moved eleven hours away from home, from a blessed world full of people and life because I sought a quiet life and space to grow on my own but my heart sometimes aches for that life and those people and yet I know that it won't be my home again for a while, if ever - and now I'm thinking it's time for a city.
My horoscope yesterday was:
A small feat you accomplish today could evolve into a much bigger achievement down the road. You may have felt recently that you can't tackle the big stuff because the little stuff keeps getting in the way, but actually you are covering a lot of ground just doing what you're doing now. You sometimes tend to feel as though you have to make big, sweeping changes in order to show progress. But progress is any forward movement. If you stop focusing on how many inches forward you moved, you will soon look back and realize just how far you've come. (Thank you new droid phone app!)
So now as I look back on my year in Mississippi and on my other courageous jumps in life, I'm left to wonder, I've come this far but where am I going?
The funny part is that I wish I could have been happy at home, in Charleston teaching first grade for the rest of my life, married with babies next door to the friends that I grew up with. My whole life I've wanted nothing more than to be simple and stick with the norms and despite that I've never been able to. So for all of you at home, I know it sounds crazy, but it's not in my hands or I'd be there with you now but know that wherever I am I love you and miss you!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Vacation Vocabulary
I am making the blog a priority in my life because well because I like it and I have found that it's just as satisfying for me to chronicle my life as it is for me to attempt to share with the ones I love and possibly some other randoms. Making it a priority is important because otherwise I wouldn't do it and my life is a touch ADHD, I have been in a different place between 5 states every weekend since November 1st. I'm starting to think that it's not ok, in my mind I'm in the settling mood but unfortunately my life doesn't reflect it - another blog for another day.
Pre-Denver I went to Vail (technically Edwards) to visit one of those grown-up-together-life friends that we all have, though I have found that South Carolinians, in particular, cling to theirs like a guilty habit - yet another blog for another day. As I am packing for Vail, Oxford gets a respite from the 10 degree, bonechilling, get under your skin and settle in cold - a few forty degree days. Despite the fact that I know I am going to one of the most beautiful places in the world I couldn't get excited about going somewhere colder than the quasi-Artic I was currently functioning in. My brain could not wrap itself around freezing though while in Vail freezing did wrap itself around my brain - you do not have to drink a slushee ridiculously fast to get a brain freeze, in fact you can get one without drinking anything at all. You must be doing something fast (ie: drinking, skiing, tumbling) with the element of cold temperature involved (slushee, Vail) and that is all, I got one flying down the face of a mountain in Beaver Creek.
Get to Vail, meet friends of life friend, eat sushi, go for drinks, get up the next morning go to Vail to ski. We pull up to a house, jump out, walk 100 hundred yards, put our skis on, and ski. There is something exceedingly luxurious about not having to huff and puff and then shuttle in a smelly bus and then climb stadium stairs and then bustle through a lodge heated to sauna temperatures to get to the slopes of a mountain, I know all of my east coast friends can commiserate we all did the annual church youth group ski trip to West Virginia and North Carolina - here's to you MLKjr. and all of you dead Presidents high five from the mountain thanks for being born so we could have enough time to drive to ski for two days! So we ski let me share with you the vocabulary needed to ski with true Colorado skiers:
shreddin' the gnar: skiing your ass off and looking like the hot X-game guys while doing so
pow-pow: fresh snow; a delicacy in those parts of the world
dumping: snow is falling really hard
puking: snow is falling so hard your visibility is nothing beyond 50 feet
apre- adult beverages after skiing (akin to pulling the boat up to the bar after you've been out all day)
skooch leg- an oversized muscular thigh from not changing feet in your snowboard
I shredded the gnar in the powpow for sure! I learned alot of life lessons and had some self-realizations.
We did Vail Mountain the first day, apparently the holy grail of mountains in the area. There were tons of people, at first it was dumping snow and then it was puking. I made it to the end of the day without falling. Then a mound of pow pow took me down. I realized I was falling and as I went down I was thinking ok brace yourself for pain you are going to eat snow and your body is going to crash into a hard mountain while you're going 30 mph - This is going to hurt. But it didn't hurt, until the next day. Falling in fresh pow pow actually feels like bouncing on a cloud. No pain you just bounce from soft snow patch to soft snow patch until your momentum fades and then you eat snow.
Self-realization from Vail Mountain 1: I am severely claustrophobic. If no part of my body is exposed I am going to freak out. Too many clothes and no breathing room is a no go in my life. I mean this in no way negatively towards Vail but give me a bathing suit and sundress with some airflow any day over the kid from the Christmas story get up! So as I am shreddin' the gnar down the mountain my face starts getting cold from the snow that is puking on me... logical move: use your neck warmer to cover your entire face... reality: panic attack as I'm going down the face of the mountain - can't breathe, trees are closing in, resisting the urge to rip my clothes off because my skin is crawling... quick fix to panic attack: expose my nose and nothing else - true story that's all it took. "I'm just a summer girl, I wear my flip flops..."
Self-realization from Vail Mountain 2: I am an adrenaline junky. Ledge after ledge, run after run, I wanted more. More of that feeling of soaring, of here goes nothing, of I hope to hell I make it down on my skis and not on my ass- there's a strong possibility that it's going to be my ass but what the hell here goes nothing, I'm only on this earth once. I pushed it and pushed it until of course I couldn't mind over matter the cold and my happy spot of skiing behind a boat didn't warm me up anymore!
Sunday was Beaver Creek. I preferred Beaver Creek over Vail minus the beginning stages of frostbite that my nose experienced. Beaver Creek was smaller, not nearly as crowded and the runs were a good mixture between Sunday stroll and shreddin' the gnar. I skied all three mountains at Beaver Creek twice. There is something infinitely serene about snow on the branches of evergreens and I was able to soak up the solitude by myself on many of these runs. I had the best guide, Dan, he would go ahead of me wait for me and then give me a conditions report of what was ahead! He never once seemed frustrated that I was always a good five minutes behind him and seemed to genuinely enjoy showing me a place he loved so much! Love him and I am so grateful that he shared that day with me!
Life lesson learned during weekend: You can be alive in the cold. You don't have to hibernate. People do function. You can have fun, you can be active, and you can live a full life. I know these thoughts seem basic and simple but sometimes simple isn't easy and in my case cold is simple but not easy. As I face the future it is good for me to know that, to know that if my next stop is up north or out west that I don't have to become a hermit and live a life of wintery solitude waiting for the sun's warmth.
Pre-Denver I went to Vail (technically Edwards) to visit one of those grown-up-together-life friends that we all have, though I have found that South Carolinians, in particular, cling to theirs like a guilty habit - yet another blog for another day. As I am packing for Vail, Oxford gets a respite from the 10 degree, bonechilling, get under your skin and settle in cold - a few forty degree days. Despite the fact that I know I am going to one of the most beautiful places in the world I couldn't get excited about going somewhere colder than the quasi-Artic I was currently functioning in. My brain could not wrap itself around freezing though while in Vail freezing did wrap itself around my brain - you do not have to drink a slushee ridiculously fast to get a brain freeze, in fact you can get one without drinking anything at all. You must be doing something fast (ie: drinking, skiing, tumbling) with the element of cold temperature involved (slushee, Vail) and that is all, I got one flying down the face of a mountain in Beaver Creek.
Get to Vail, meet friends of life friend, eat sushi, go for drinks, get up the next morning go to Vail to ski. We pull up to a house, jump out, walk 100 hundred yards, put our skis on, and ski. There is something exceedingly luxurious about not having to huff and puff and then shuttle in a smelly bus and then climb stadium stairs and then bustle through a lodge heated to sauna temperatures to get to the slopes of a mountain, I know all of my east coast friends can commiserate we all did the annual church youth group ski trip to West Virginia and North Carolina - here's to you MLKjr. and all of you dead Presidents high five from the mountain thanks for being born so we could have enough time to drive to ski for two days! So we ski let me share with you the vocabulary needed to ski with true Colorado skiers:
shreddin' the gnar: skiing your ass off and looking like the hot X-game guys while doing so
pow-pow: fresh snow; a delicacy in those parts of the world
dumping: snow is falling really hard
puking: snow is falling so hard your visibility is nothing beyond 50 feet
apre- adult beverages after skiing (akin to pulling the boat up to the bar after you've been out all day)
skooch leg- an oversized muscular thigh from not changing feet in your snowboard
I shredded the gnar in the powpow for sure! I learned alot of life lessons and had some self-realizations.
We did Vail Mountain the first day, apparently the holy grail of mountains in the area. There were tons of people, at first it was dumping snow and then it was puking. I made it to the end of the day without falling. Then a mound of pow pow took me down. I realized I was falling and as I went down I was thinking ok brace yourself for pain you are going to eat snow and your body is going to crash into a hard mountain while you're going 30 mph - This is going to hurt. But it didn't hurt, until the next day. Falling in fresh pow pow actually feels like bouncing on a cloud. No pain you just bounce from soft snow patch to soft snow patch until your momentum fades and then you eat snow.
Self-realization from Vail Mountain 1: I am severely claustrophobic. If no part of my body is exposed I am going to freak out. Too many clothes and no breathing room is a no go in my life. I mean this in no way negatively towards Vail but give me a bathing suit and sundress with some airflow any day over the kid from the Christmas story get up! So as I am shreddin' the gnar down the mountain my face starts getting cold from the snow that is puking on me... logical move: use your neck warmer to cover your entire face... reality: panic attack as I'm going down the face of the mountain - can't breathe, trees are closing in, resisting the urge to rip my clothes off because my skin is crawling... quick fix to panic attack: expose my nose and nothing else - true story that's all it took. "I'm just a summer girl, I wear my flip flops..."
Self-realization from Vail Mountain 2: I am an adrenaline junky. Ledge after ledge, run after run, I wanted more. More of that feeling of soaring, of here goes nothing, of I hope to hell I make it down on my skis and not on my ass- there's a strong possibility that it's going to be my ass but what the hell here goes nothing, I'm only on this earth once. I pushed it and pushed it until of course I couldn't mind over matter the cold and my happy spot of skiing behind a boat didn't warm me up anymore!
Sunday was Beaver Creek. I preferred Beaver Creek over Vail minus the beginning stages of frostbite that my nose experienced. Beaver Creek was smaller, not nearly as crowded and the runs were a good mixture between Sunday stroll and shreddin' the gnar. I skied all three mountains at Beaver Creek twice. There is something infinitely serene about snow on the branches of evergreens and I was able to soak up the solitude by myself on many of these runs. I had the best guide, Dan, he would go ahead of me wait for me and then give me a conditions report of what was ahead! He never once seemed frustrated that I was always a good five minutes behind him and seemed to genuinely enjoy showing me a place he loved so much! Love him and I am so grateful that he shared that day with me!
Life lesson learned during weekend: You can be alive in the cold. You don't have to hibernate. People do function. You can have fun, you can be active, and you can live a full life. I know these thoughts seem basic and simple but sometimes simple isn't easy and in my case cold is simple but not easy. As I face the future it is good for me to know that, to know that if my next stop is up north or out west that I don't have to become a hermit and live a life of wintery solitude waiting for the sun's warmth.
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