Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Blackbusters

I have a true confession.  I love a good "blackbuster" no joke, true story.  For years and years I prayed about finding peace and forgiveness with someone close to my heart that made a horrible decision that radically changed my life.  But no matter how much I begged for the peace that comes with forgiveness, I couldn't seem to find it.  A few years ago I was watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" a scene in the kitchen had me rolling laughing.

Momma: I learned a long time ago, God can take better care of folks far better than you can.
Granny: God take too long sometime I need em to get got right then.
Momma: That's why I don't worry about folks, they can't make me happy and they can't make me sad.  What the pastor say?
Granny: You know I don't know, I be tryin to read the bible or go to church or something and look down at that New Testimony and saw Jesus you know the one in red and say aww no I can't be reading all that, Jesus be talkin too much for me to be readin all that
Momma: Peace be still, that's what he said.
Granny: Well you know what peace always be still around me cause I keeps a piece u steel by me. As long as you got a piece u steel around you, you gon have peace. Load your steel, thank you Jesus.

Here's the real part I learned - above is just funny
Granny: He is 8 feet under
Momma: six feet under that's where they bury folks, six feet
Granny: that's what I'm trying to tell you, I saw him that casket, I got mad all over again and beat him down two more feet.
You think you over something, you think you really ready to get on with your life, this is how you find out if you really over something: if you have the opportunity to get even with someone who did you wrong and you don't take it, you over it but if you do you ain't over it.

Ok this is the message that made me understand the importance of forgiveness:

Momma: You got to forgive him no matter what he does you got to forgive him.  Not for him but for you.  When somebody hurts you, they take power over you, you don't forgive him, they keeps the power.  Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive yourself. 

So I got a little carried away getting the blackbuster lines down and having to write the apology just gave me another excuse to write blackbuster because let's be serious, that's a solid pun.

But both grannny and momma spoke truth.  They will likely have different meanings of truth for you but at the heart of learning about forgiveness they are truthful.  If you want to beat a dead man down to eight feet under - that's a pretty accurate litmus (spelling and meaning actually) test - they have some serious power over your heart and your mind.  Can you really get revenge on a dead person - and if you can, would it really be a fair fight, they have no place to go but down, according to the granny in the blackbuster that guy had two more feet to go.  I can't say that I wouldn't get him when I had the chance, apparently he hit her.  There are going to be relationships and situations in life that will have longterm effects and aftershocks but the strength of the quake can be reduced through forgiveness.  I heard this saying that made forgiveness make sense "Love, not time, heals all things.  Love for yourself, experiencing the love of another, and loving someone else or something else are all acts that lead the heart to forgiveness.  So I have learned in times of hurt to seek love so that those things that cause us to lose our hearts and minds don't take control and take us the plus two.