Monday, January 2, 2012

Peace with a pink and perfect pine!

"I choose peace", my great bestie of a coworker coined this term as her personal life flew into an uncontrollable frenzy of fate meeting faith (literally and figuratively) during 2011 and I have to say it has become pervasive in my life.  My students promote it, my boyfriend picks at it, and I, well I chose to preserve it this Christmas to the best of my abilities!  I love Christmas as a believer now that I am really coming to know what I say I believe in when I say, "Thank you Jesus for being born!"  Thank you, really thank you because for this girl/lady with so many hopes on her heart you are the deliverer of peace on this earth.

My peace this Christmas season came to a girl all alone on Christmas night sitting in her den with a pink and a perfect pine aglow and a sense of peace settling on her heart that with Him, the Christ child born unto us, the savior there is no darkness.  Amen

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Husband Hurry-ups

So I know that I should be content and enjoy the single life and that this is a time of preparation and the whole host of other comments everyone who is happily a double offers to you with the big dollop of sympathy head tilt.  I am definitely not coming at this post from the perspective that marriage is a fairytale, though two years ago or maybe less I was still waiting on my Disney caricature to ride in or walk in and forever change my life with the pinging star bouncing off of his side front tooth when he smiled. Thankfully and sometimes unnecessarily and not so welcomed-ly, my married friends of all ages have given me backstage passes to their real-life dramas.  Maybe that's why I'm still single and just getting comfortable using the word committment in the same sentence as my name in the very recent past.  I couldn't even sleep in my own house that I paid for for longer than a week or two until about nine months ago, I may or may not have committment issues on all levels but I have admitted that I have a problem and I am willing to stay the course to work it out or maybe the pinging star off the front tooth in the pearly white smile will leave me star struck and completely situated after love at first look.

We are going to leave the serious husband talk to the t-totalers for a minute and get to the heart of the matter.  I apparently give off the perception to those that I come across and don't know super intimately that I am a very put-together person.  On the days that I take my medis, I can find myself agreeing with them in moments of focused, prioritized, completion of  my day and then there's all the other times.  Like when I wear a white dress with black underwear to work or the fact that I have to live in a very safe neighborhood because if I take my purse out of my car I won't remember to put it back in there and I typically forget to lock the car doors or roll the windows up, my keys can 99% of the time be found in the front door (is it breaking and entering when the keys are in the front door?)  So here are my thoughts, I have a good brain.  It is smart and capable and very skilled in many areas but it clearly needs a double for all of the mindless reasons that two are better than one.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

List of 10 #92

10 places you'd like to go in the winter

1. the Swiss Alps
2. New York City at Christmas

List of 10 #81

10 things you do for at least 20 minutes a day.

1. drive
2. sleep
3. chat with people to procrastinate
4. worry about money
5. hit the snooze button
6. listen to Price scratch and lick himself
7. Quiet time before bed - lately
8. talk about school/students
9. read
10. try to figure out what I should do/was doing/am doing

List of 10 #94

List 10 of your habits
1. Change into cozy clothes as soon as I get home.
2. Do laundry and never put it away.
3. Use the same route to drive places.
4. Peanut butter first, jelly second.
5. Speak to everyone on the hall on the way to my room/office.
6. Call back before listening to voicemail.
7. Buy newly engaged friends their first gift with their new initial.
8. Turn the TV before I go to sleep.
9. Hug my students first thing in the morning.
10. Say "Love you" when I hange up the phone.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I have a true confession.  I love a good "blackbuster" no joke, true story.  For years and years I prayed about finding peace and forgiveness with someone close to my heart that made a horrible decision that radically changed my life.  But no matter how much I begged for the peace that comes with forgiveness, I couldn't seem to find it.  A few years ago I was watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" a scene in the kitchen had me rolling laughing.

Momma: I learned a long time ago, God can take better care of folks far better than you can.
Granny: God take too long sometime I need em to get got right then.
Momma: That's why I don't worry about folks, they can't make me happy and they can't make me sad.  What the pastor say?
Granny: You know I don't know, I be tryin to read the bible or go to church or something and look down at that New Testimony and saw Jesus you know the one in red and say aww no I can't be reading all that, Jesus be talkin too much for me to be readin all that
Momma: Peace be still, that's what he said.
Granny: Well you know what peace always be still around me cause I keeps a piece u steel by me. As long as you got a piece u steel around you, you gon have peace. Load your steel, thank you Jesus.

Here's the real part I learned - above is just funny
Granny: He is 8 feet under
Momma: six feet under that's where they bury folks, six feet
Granny: that's what I'm trying to tell you, I saw him that casket, I got mad all over again and beat him down two more feet.
You think you over something, you think you really ready to get on with your life, this is how you find out if you really over something: if you have the opportunity to get even with someone who did you wrong and you don't take it, you over it but if you do you ain't over it.

Ok this is the message that made me understand the importance of forgiveness:

Momma: You got to forgive him no matter what he does you got to forgive him.  Not for him but for you.  When somebody hurts you, they take power over you, you don't forgive him, they keeps the power.  Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive yourself. 

So I got a little carried away getting the blackbuster lines down and having to write the apology just gave me another excuse to write blackbuster because let's be serious, that's a solid pun.

But both grannny and momma spoke truth.  They will likely have different meanings of truth for you but at the heart of learning about forgiveness they are truthful.  If you want to beat a dead man down to eight feet under - that's a pretty accurate litmus (spelling and meaning actually) test - they have some serious power over your heart and your mind.  Can you really get revenge on a dead person - and if you can, would it really be a fair fight, they have no place to go but down, according to the granny in the blackbuster that guy had two more feet to go.  I can't say that I wouldn't get him when I had the chance, apparently he hit her.  There are going to be relationships and situations in life that will have longterm effects and aftershocks but the strength of the quake can be reduced through forgiveness.  I heard this saying that made forgiveness make sense "Love, not time, heals all things.  Love for yourself, experiencing the love of another, and loving someone else or something else are all acts that lead the heart to forgiveness.  So I have learned in times of hurt to seek love so that those things that cause us to lose our hearts and minds don't take control and take us the plus two.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Experience Amazing

I have replaced facebook with blogs, kind of.  I am simply stunned at how out of the know I am without facebook and how many people have texted or called because they have tried to contact me on facebook and can't get me.  I need to visit a friend for blog 101.  I am not very savvy.  Still don't know how to link or post pics etc. but I am ready to learn.  In looking at some other blogs I saw a girl who had a link for happy lists.  Every so often it seems she makes a list of things that makes her extremely happy.  I haven't ditched my joy journey I have just let it sit for a bit to see what direction it goes and how it's going to require me to travel...

Last week, I spent some time on my alma mater's website!  Hotty Toddy and Go Rebs!  While I was at OleMiss, the university began re-creating their image.  Over the past five years OleMiss has been stripped of all identifying factors excluding red and blue, "the rebels", and allowed being called "OleMiss."  Their marketing slogan was coined and my was it obnoxiously slapped on any and all university materials BUT as an alum on a joy journey, it rang true.  What a thought to experience amazing each day. amazing: causing great surprise or sudden wonder. amazing: something that is so wonderful it is hard to find the words to match.  Something that makes your heart beat faster or your heart melt.  Something that tops everything else and always crosses your mind.
concordance for NIV online amazed is used multiple times in the gospels to describe the people's reaction to Jesus

So I think I will hijack the happy list idea and start thinking about the times or things in my life that I have experienced amazing.

1. summers on the Black River, catching catfish with PaPa, MaMa's breakfasts, being behind the boat from sun-up to sun-down
2. fireflies in Oxford at dusk
3. cards from the Carolina girls when I moved home
4. rocking babies to sleep especially naps with HG
5. seeing the sunset on a bridge in Charleston
6. dancing at the weddings of some of the ones I love most
7. 4th of July parades on Pawley's
8. the night the Ravenel Bridge opened in Charleston Harbor
9. cooking with the aunts for holidays
10. gumbo nights
11. the first day of rolling your windows down in the car even if you have to turn the heat on
12. Rock the Bus year 2
13. the strength of a friend who moved home to take care of her momma and put her life on hold
14. the ability of a mother to care for her baby through cancer and still be a present and loving friend
15. my Notebook fleeting romance
16. Sunday brunch
17. a good book, a rainy day, grandmother's quilt, momma's living room floor - all at once
18. red beans and rice when you're sick
19. butter pecan ice cream when you come home from college
20. porch parties with the Carolina girls
21. McFly Family suppers
22. the Eiffel Tower sparkling at midnight
23. jumping off of a waterfall in Hawaii
24. the smile of a child when they believe in themselves because you loved them
25. the power of a woman who still respects her country and the call of duty that took the man she loved
26. friends that became family and opened their hearts and homes to me
27. catching a fish
28. the dream of a home with open doors, a crowded table, and happy hearts
29. the excitement of the possibilities one life has to offer in this world
30. receiving puzzle pieces that put together the past and bring perspective to the present

Experience amazing...