Loews Knows

Sorry it's taken so long for me to post the rest of my trip but there truly hasn't been a spare moment. I am now in New Orleans at CC's, love their coffee and I am going to attempt to finish (Saturday, January 30). Didn't get to finish in New Orleans in my office (Monday, February 1). Didn't get to finish in my office on Monday, in class (Wednesday, February 3).







The Loews Hotel in Denver KNOWS how to make a garbled graduate student feel like a purposeful, put-together person! At my check-in the lady behind the desk says, "Give me a minute, let me upgrade you to the mountain view." I thought I misunderstood her but for once my face didn't belie me and I think I was so stunned that my mouth wouldn't move because my mind was and it was thinking, "Are you looking at the right screen because I'm only paying $99.00 for this get-up and I'm pretty sure the mountain view comes at a higher price than the discounted room rate I got because I was inadvertantly visiting the University of Denver." So up I go to the tenth floor mountain view room, which I can now definitely say should come at a higher price than $99.00. It was like nothing I have seen before. The city is sprawled out below but my room is just high enough so that the starting-to-age strip malls are not picked up by my peripheral vision and then there are mountains. Denver is a very strange city in that way. On one side there are miles and miles of flat lands and the buildings look like someone dropped them out of the sky and then you turn your head and there are the mountains that we sing about in "America the Beautiful."

On top of the mountain view upgrade, they shuttle you EVERYWHERE, for free. I understand the necessity of a driver when you're in a strange place, on a tight schedule, or when you've had too much to drink, even a special occasion. (Admission of truth: I always snubbed those who had drivers on a daily basis. My thoughts were this: "Do something to help someone with the money that you're spending to do something that you can totally do yourself but think is beneath you.") Harsh, I know! With every harsh assumption there is a harsher reality... To all of the wealthy and moderately wealthy people who have drivers on a daily basis, I am sorry for judging you and even thinking less of you because you have more and choose to have a driver with the extra more that you have. I don't understand the having enough more to have a driver but after my stay at the Loews I realize that my snubbing you is in all reality a previously unrecognized mask of envy. Please accept my apology and if you have an extra seat in your luxury execucar and you are ever in the Oxford area please know that I will gladly accept an invitation to accompany you, wherever you may be going.

But I do have an etiquette question: If the shuttle/limo service is provided by the hotel, are you supposed to tip the driver? I was constantly feeling the need to go to the atm and retrieve huge sums of cash to give to these nice men-boys that were making me feel like a million dollars, dropping them a twenty was the least I could do for them in my mind!

I am envious of these people for many reasons, the first being that they never have to park. No 16 point turns in their lives or 'I think I can make it if I turn my wheel hard and pray' moments or I better back up and try again that's a Mercedes next to me not a hoopedy wagon. No cursing the guy who got their license without passing the parallel parking task or the parking between the lines task for that matter (it's kind of like coloring between the lines, you need to have that mastered before you move onto markers, with driving, you should be able to park between the lines before leaving the driveway and moving onto Wal-Mart parking lots). Not only do they not have to park, they don't have to park and WALK - ever! Not in the rain, the snow (a new, seemingly regular phenomenon in my quazi Southern life), not when they just need to grab something or drop something off. And lastly they never get lost or make a wrong turn, for those of you who know ME that is reason enough. I am unfortunately one of those people who knows the true difference between getting lost and making wrong turns because I spend alot of time getting lost and turning around. But don't they say that life's about the journey...


One of the places that my chauffeurs dropped me off was Cherry Park maybe Creek I can never remember. It was a Towne Center on steroids and with a touch more sophistication not our beach bum version of an outdoor mall. Since being in Mississippi I have come to realize that yes, Charleston is in a bubble but Oxford my friends is under a rock. I can't explain to you the joy and comfort that just seeing these stores brings to my life now. I don't even need to buy anything, the comfort lies in knowing that it is less than an hour (typically more because of wrong turns and missed directions) away and that if I need or want something I can not only try it on but return it or sleep on it and buy it the next day. It is ridiculous! I am a consumer and a firm believer in retail therapy though that has changed drastically while living in Oxford. Unfortunately I think it's due to the fact that we have little more than Wal-Mart, a handful of overpriced boutiques with the same clothes, and Belk in our quaint town. I am like a homeless person who has just won the lottery when I get into these places for the first time after a few month hiatus. I don't even know what to do with myself. For the first half hour I just walk around gawking like I've never seen new clothes before. It's kind of embarassing. Total overstimulation, I have to do mental exercises just to get my mind right and focused on the task at hand which unfortunately is to NOT spend money like an OC housewife with a black AmEx. I have come to learn how to shop in these places now:

1. Allow for 30 minutes to adjust to the new surroundings

2. Get your bearings and make a route

3. Do the skim of the store - make a loop, try on, and peace out - If it didn't catch your eye the first time you're not going to like it on your body

4. Give yourself a time limit. There is only so much self-control one can have in these situations. Two hours is my limit before I start impulse buying. Thankfully Anthropologie didn't have a queen size in the new bedding that I fell in love with, I really hate checking bags now that you have to pay to do so!

Safari for supper

Denver is delectible. I was here for 24 hours and ate some of the best food (clarify: meat) I've ever had in one sitting. I ate at the Buckhorn Exchange. It is the oldest restaurant in Colorado, established in 1893. It holds the first liquor license ever authorized in the state. There is so much history within those walls, Teddy Roosevelt left his official American flag that he flew while travelling by train across the nation, JFK's fishing license is on the wall as well as a portrait museum of other political figures, national and international dignitaries, and celebrities that chronicles history. In addition to this it should also be considered a museum of taxodermy. When I can figure out how, I will put up pictures. Every inch of space not covered by a photo or other piece of memorabilia is covered with dead animals. The second largest elk in the world, jackalopes, a unicorn all sorts of scientific, super-natural specimens. The restaurant is so revered in the world of taxodermy that the Guiness Book of World Records sent it a whale's penis that was longer than me. It didn't look like much and I wouldn't have recognized it as such without the waitress identifying it but once I had that in my head...

I ate like a travel channel food taster! I love game fowl and poultry and have eaten quite a bit of it but this was truly a safari! The first stop on the safari was Tibet. Tibetan yak with garlic butter. Now, I don't think the yak was actually flown in from Tibet though I wish it was that would make the experience much more exotic but nonetheless it was so tasty I didn't want to waste time yakking with the waitress- I wanted to eat. It was very tender and did not have a very gamey flavor. This is also significant in my world because my dear friend Jen has a nickname related to this animal. Over the years we have researched yak noises, made yak jokes, and inserted the word yak into any appropriate or inappropriate word or phrase possible - example: "yak meat," a boy that Jen would like. So as I am eating I am laughing out loud at the table in the corner of the restaurant - by myself - but in my mind thinking Jen totally understands the comedic nature of this event. Inserting people into situations is a common occurrance in my life these days, it is much like playing with my childhood imaginary friend was - it gets you by but it doesn't beat having them there with you!

Stop two was somewhere, Africa or Australia maybe, I don't know where ostriches really come from though I do know that there are ostrich farms in the US - are they native to the US though? I didn't care for the ostrich. Though it was cooked medium rare it was very tough - could this be from sticking its head into the sand all of the time and not really knowing what's going on with the rest of its exposed body? That is my only hypothesis...

Stop three could really be anywhere in the US but this was quite possibly my favorite! Quail in a prickly pear and apricot glaze. Most of you know that I think my momma, aunts, and other close friends/relatives are by far some of the best cooks in the world. There is absolutely no comparison in my mind to a homecooked meal from South Carolina, this quail took me home. It was absolutely one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth! The sauce was a perfect compliment though I had to push the thought of "prickly" pear out of my mind while eating. Why does our mind do that to us? There was nothing prickly about the sauce, not in the taste or the texture though I kept thinking I was going to take a bite and get a splinter in my mouth. Truthfully, I do know why our mind does that to us but I will refrain from an educational pshyology babble session for the moment so we can move onto the wild, wild west!

Stop four in my head: The wagon trail, a teepee, a musket, a bow and arrow, and I think an endangered species these days. Buffalo, by far the best taste of red meat I have ever consumed. It was flavorful and tender and truly memorable because of its epicurean qualities (whereas the yak was good but I will likely only remember it because it was a yak and who eats yak really?). You could taste the plains. I know I sound like I'm exaggerating but if you truly want a food experience that is transcendental in nature, eat buffalo at Buckhorn Exchange you will immediately go back to your elementary school Oregon Trail days!

It is back to the Miss now! I will write more this week about my trip to CO, I just had to tell you about my safari while it was fresh! Love you mean it!

Bottoms Up!

So it is day 1 after yoga. I am sore but not in the yoga-appropriate places. the truth is my entire mid-section is in pain. I made it through yoga without falling yesterday BUT the day before I did not make it through the flower bed in my heels...

I have a horrible habit of trying to use my time wisely, meaning that if I have 20 minutes before I have to be somewhere and it only takes 5 to get there I would rather use that other 15 minutes to accomplish something as opposed to getting to my destination early and sitting there for 15 minutes. This is why I am perpetually late (insight into my life). So it is Wednesday at 11:36, I am on the square in Oxford dropping something off before I have to be at the Carrier House to meet the Chancellor's wife for lunch at noon. For those of you not familiar with Oxford, you can get anywhere in 5 minutes, 10 during heavy get out of class times, and 20 on game weekends. I basically have to cross campus to get to Carrier House from where I am on the square. So I think to myself I have 24 minutes before I have to be there that is plenty of time for me to drop something off at the Graduate House (located in the middle of campus). Get to the Graduate House, park, make delivery, moving at a rapid pace back to my car because I realize class just got out and it's lunch time and I have to go by the fraternity houses to get to my final destination which is like playing chicken with frat boy clones. So I think to myself you CANNOT be late to meet the Chancellor's wife take the shortcut... The shortcut is the flower bed that is sad looking because it's been frozen and snowed over and the day before drenched by a thunderstorm. I don't feel bad about cutting through the flower bed because there are no flowers in it - I may as well have walked into pluffmudd. I am in heels so I am doing the ballerina run where you bounce over the ground on your toes without letting your heels touch. So not only am I walking in heels in the dirt but I'm bouncing over mud so even my toes start to sink in the saturated ground so I pick up the pace. Up ahead I see the chain fence that is there to keep people like me from hurting ourselves and saving the flowers. I am too far in to turn around now so I prepare to hurdle the two foot chain. First foot over in midair, second foot caught on chain, realization that I am going to fall and fall hard partly on the pavement. I tucked my face no damage there but from shoulder to knee I was covered in wet dirt and flower bed muck. My ribs caught the curb and I belly flopped both feet caught on the chain. So I laid there for a second and then thought okay you have to laugh at yourself but when I tried I couldn't because I couldn't breathe so I laid there for another second - mind you this is during class change. When I caught my breath I picked myself and poured into my car dirt and all.

I made it to lunch on time, clean though that took a little bit of spit shining but now my entire middle hurts. My inner hypochondriac says go to the doctor you could have jarred something loose inside and be internally bleeding but my logical mind says you live in Mississippi, every time you go to the doctor they don't really know what is wrong with you they just give you a cocktail of a shot and somehow you're cured within hours. So I came to Vail, CO not being able to sit for long stretches of time, laugh really hard, or cough - look out mountains here I come skiing down and hopefully not rolling down!

Dear Deep Breather

Dear Deep Breather... Is it appropriate to pass notes during yoga class because if I would've had a pencil and paper today, I would have? Yoga, for those of us who are not coordinated or centered, requires concentration. A concentration that is focused on not laughing during yoga. Deep breather, you are like the mosquito in the room at night when the rest of the house is silent and the whir of the fans is calming but all you can hear is the buzz of the tiny flying pest that causes one to lay awake until they must turn the light on and find the bug because sleep is so close yet unattainable due to the inconsistent yet pervasive hum in the room. So I made it through the beginning of yoga WITHOUT laughing even when I was told to stabilize my sitting bones and was awkwardly close to the boy's feet (I saw his toe lent-close, just to clarify) in front of me when I swan dove into my mat (doesn't sound very zen-ful actually a bit suicidal but I am alive to tell you about it). I reached the point of concentration and focus. I saluted the sun on the left side, aye aye sun and went to do it on my right side when all of a sudden as I'm windmilling, you can imagine the necessity of concentration needed by me to windmill, my attention is diverted mid-twist and my arm falls. Now I am disappointed I have done every pose without having to take a break and go into child's pose up to this point in the class - thank you deep breather. The room was packed, at capacity, turning people away from the class full and amongst this many people I can hear deep breather. So now my concentration is in and out and all I can think about for the rest of the class is when am I going to hear the next breath, prepare yourself for the next deep breath so that you don't laugh out loud. But all of you will be proud I did every pose and the teacher never had to come correct me! The laugh out loud finally came during "Happy Baby" though. It should be titled "Hello Hoo-ha" not "Happy Baby"! Steps to getting into the "Happy Baby/Hello Hoo-ha" pose:

1. Lay on your back
2. Put your feet in the air
3. Grab your ankles
4. Bend your knees to your chest while holding your ankles
5. Roll around

Really, I didn't think I was going to Karma-Sutra yoga but apparently it's appropriate to salute the sun and say hello to the hoo-ha all in one class period!