Bottoms Up!

So it is day 1 after yoga. I am sore but not in the yoga-appropriate places. the truth is my entire mid-section is in pain. I made it through yoga without falling yesterday BUT the day before I did not make it through the flower bed in my heels...

I have a horrible habit of trying to use my time wisely, meaning that if I have 20 minutes before I have to be somewhere and it only takes 5 to get there I would rather use that other 15 minutes to accomplish something as opposed to getting to my destination early and sitting there for 15 minutes. This is why I am perpetually late (insight into my life). So it is Wednesday at 11:36, I am on the square in Oxford dropping something off before I have to be at the Carrier House to meet the Chancellor's wife for lunch at noon. For those of you not familiar with Oxford, you can get anywhere in 5 minutes, 10 during heavy get out of class times, and 20 on game weekends. I basically have to cross campus to get to Carrier House from where I am on the square. So I think to myself I have 24 minutes before I have to be there that is plenty of time for me to drop something off at the Graduate House (located in the middle of campus). Get to the Graduate House, park, make delivery, moving at a rapid pace back to my car because I realize class just got out and it's lunch time and I have to go by the fraternity houses to get to my final destination which is like playing chicken with frat boy clones. So I think to myself you CANNOT be late to meet the Chancellor's wife take the shortcut... The shortcut is the flower bed that is sad looking because it's been frozen and snowed over and the day before drenched by a thunderstorm. I don't feel bad about cutting through the flower bed because there are no flowers in it - I may as well have walked into pluffmudd. I am in heels so I am doing the ballerina run where you bounce over the ground on your toes without letting your heels touch. So not only am I walking in heels in the dirt but I'm bouncing over mud so even my toes start to sink in the saturated ground so I pick up the pace. Up ahead I see the chain fence that is there to keep people like me from hurting ourselves and saving the flowers. I am too far in to turn around now so I prepare to hurdle the two foot chain. First foot over in midair, second foot caught on chain, realization that I am going to fall and fall hard partly on the pavement. I tucked my face no damage there but from shoulder to knee I was covered in wet dirt and flower bed muck. My ribs caught the curb and I belly flopped both feet caught on the chain. So I laid there for a second and then thought okay you have to laugh at yourself but when I tried I couldn't because I couldn't breathe so I laid there for another second - mind you this is during class change. When I caught my breath I picked myself and poured into my car dirt and all.

I made it to lunch on time, clean though that took a little bit of spit shining but now my entire middle hurts. My inner hypochondriac says go to the doctor you could have jarred something loose inside and be internally bleeding but my logical mind says you live in Mississippi, every time you go to the doctor they don't really know what is wrong with you they just give you a cocktail of a shot and somehow you're cured within hours. So I came to Vail, CO not being able to sit for long stretches of time, laugh really hard, or cough - look out mountains here I come skiing down and hopefully not rolling down!