Dear Deep Breather

Dear Deep Breather... Is it appropriate to pass notes during yoga class because if I would've had a pencil and paper today, I would have? Yoga, for those of us who are not coordinated or centered, requires concentration. A concentration that is focused on not laughing during yoga. Deep breather, you are like the mosquito in the room at night when the rest of the house is silent and the whir of the fans is calming but all you can hear is the buzz of the tiny flying pest that causes one to lay awake until they must turn the light on and find the bug because sleep is so close yet unattainable due to the inconsistent yet pervasive hum in the room. So I made it through the beginning of yoga WITHOUT laughing even when I was told to stabilize my sitting bones and was awkwardly close to the boy's feet (I saw his toe lent-close, just to clarify) in front of me when I swan dove into my mat (doesn't sound very zen-ful actually a bit suicidal but I am alive to tell you about it). I reached the point of concentration and focus. I saluted the sun on the left side, aye aye sun and went to do it on my right side when all of a sudden as I'm windmilling, you can imagine the necessity of concentration needed by me to windmill, my attention is diverted mid-twist and my arm falls. Now I am disappointed I have done every pose without having to take a break and go into child's pose up to this point in the class - thank you deep breather. The room was packed, at capacity, turning people away from the class full and amongst this many people I can hear deep breather. So now my concentration is in and out and all I can think about for the rest of the class is when am I going to hear the next breath, prepare yourself for the next deep breath so that you don't laugh out loud. But all of you will be proud I did every pose and the teacher never had to come correct me! The laugh out loud finally came during "Happy Baby" though. It should be titled "Hello Hoo-ha" not "Happy Baby"! Steps to getting into the "Happy Baby/Hello Hoo-ha" pose:

1. Lay on your back
2. Put your feet in the air
3. Grab your ankles
4. Bend your knees to your chest while holding your ankles
5. Roll around

Really, I didn't think I was going to Karma-Sutra yoga but apparently it's appropriate to salute the sun and say hello to the hoo-ha all in one class period!