My Friday morning started with one of the sassiest super fantastic first graders in the world saying, "Miss Gahnuh, she a wild woman tuhday!" From a serious six year old, it doesn't get much cuter than that. It was one of those moments that is fleeting with my sweet babies and I can only hope to find a way to bottle up the powerful positive emotions of teaching that are blessed upon me one day to share with the world and take a swig of when my job seems like it is going to get the best of me!
I finished my Friday and bolted out of the parking lot to meet up with some faves to head to Hilton Head for the women's retreat with my church. The theme was fearless and I was quite stoked about it when I learned of it a few months ago. When I made my leap of faith to fly and see how far my wings could take me a few years ago, the Taylor Swift song "Fearless" was my anthem even though it had nothing to do with uprooting your life, moving half way across the country with what could fit in your car, no place to live, and not a soul in sight who I knew but the word just resonated so I rocked it!
When I got to HHI (probably my least favorite place, second only to MB in SC) I was exhausted. First off, I was late even though I tried to be on time so my sweet friends that I was riding with who are super punctual were super anxious - add me to the car who really doesn't like to talk to people except other teachers between the hours of 3-5 pm and we're ready to roll down the road! We were behind a horrible accident that stopped us on 17 for an hour or so after I took them the scenic route to avoid traffic, I had been sick for two weeks, I had/have ringworm (gross in itself even more gross that I now carry jock itch cream around with me in my purse and apply it to my shoulder daily!) and I'm an only child going to spend a weekend in a hotel room with four girls... Holy headache is what I'm thinking - nothing to do with the others more to do with my own personal space issues that have developed in my early twenties (post-traumatic childhood syndrome I think - that's a different blog for a different day!)!
The Lord showed mercy on his selfish servant (ME) in so many ways this weekend! The first was, we checked into our normal sized room with two double beds only to find that it had not yet been cleaned - suite upgrade, yes please! It was like the Lord new I needed mercy Motrin for this holy headache brewing in my brain! This among many other mercy motrins and beloved blessings were shared with me this weekend!
I try not to bring it home or share it because the world has enough heartbreak but as a first year teacher in a title-one school I have experienced a level of pain caused by the inhumanity of humanity for the past six months that I didn't think existed in the world. My reality is now splintered by a group of ten little babies whose lives are my purpose professionally and ultimately personally. My first prayer over the weekend was to be relieved of the heartbreak of my job. Through this, the message of being joyful as a fearless woman was revealed throughout the weekend. I called this post the "Joy Journey" because this is my goal to start living a joyful life among this strife. I'm not sure how it looks but I know that there are three guiding points that I am going to seek revelation from as this story unfolds.
1. There is a difference between a funny moment and a joyful life. My children make me laugh everyday but there is seems to remain a raincloud of weariness over my heart.
2. Psalm 47 was given to me as a verse, the lady wasn't sure why but she thought it may speak to my heart. I think it will play out on this journey.
1. Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. 2. For the Lord Most High is awesome, the great King over all the earth. 3. He subdued nations under us, peoples under our feet. 4. He chose our inheritance for us, the pride of Jacob, whom he loved. 5. God has ascended amid shouts of joy, the Lord amid the sounding of trumpet. 6. Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises. 7. For God is the King of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise. 8. God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne. 9. The nobles of the nations assemble as the people of the God of Abraham, for the kings of the earth belong to God; he is greatly exalted.
3. I'm supposed to write it down.
So we will see how this joy journey unfolds...
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